YnM Little Red Riding Hood
by explodreamer
Summary: COMPLETE YnM little red riding hood...Cast: Hisoka, Muraki, Tsuzuki, Watari and Tatsumi...Hisoka's the main character! Laugh out loud! I hope... Pls R&R!
1. Part 1

I do now own YNM at all but I really love the characters. Muraki's not the main character. He appears for a few moments. The main focus is more on Hisoka. Just for fun, haha!

Explodreamer: By the way, the script is on Little Red Riding Hood! Hahaha!!

Hisoka and Tsuzuki: o.O What!?

* * *

**YnM Little Red Riding Hood**

Muraki as Stepfather

Tsuzuki as the not-so-Big Bad Wolf

Hisoka as Little Red Riding Hood

Tatsumi as Wood Cutter

Watari as Grandpa

One not-so-fine day, Muraki suddenly thought of a new way to capture the not-so-Big Bad Wolf living in the dark forest nearby. He decided to add in anesthetic into the cookies and use them to lure the wolf out. However, he realized that he had prepared too many poisoned cookies and thought that it was a waste to throw them away. So he decided to give the leftover cookies to his stepfather-in-law that stayed at the other side of the forest. Another chance to get rid of his 'family', he he...

Muraki: Come in, my little cute, blond, sweet and sexy son...

Hisoka: -comes in with an irritated look on his face. - What is it?

Muraki: -fake innocent tone- I've baked some cookies for grandpa

Hisoka: As if you're so kind and nice –Looks suspiciously at the basket of cookies- what have you done to it? Did you poison it or something?

Muraki: -puts on threatening smile- you don't want to know and you won't be alive anymore if you knew...

Hisoka: _Damn scriptwriter... If he weren't my dad, he would have spent his afterlife time baking..._

Muraki: Oh, and wear this red riding hood... -presents a sadistic look. - It contrasts with your skin, like blood...

And so, Hisoka (with a disgusted expression) wore his red riding hood and carried with him a basket of poisoned cookies to Grandpa's home. He decided to take a rest when he reached a fork. He was so tired halfway on the journey, so he sat down under a big tree to hide from the afternoon shade.

Hisoka: It's so hot... -fans himself with his hand, then begins to subconsciously pick up a cookie and was about to put it in his mouth when...-

Tsuzuki: What are you doing here? Are you lost?

Hisoka: -jumps up in shock- who are you? Get away from me!

Tsuzuki: -staring at Hisoka's basket of cookies- I'm a kind man staying nearby. Where are you going? I know a shortcut...

Hisoka: Don't try any tricks! I know that you're a wolf and what you are planning to do. Don't think of eating my cookies or me! –Bashed Tsuzuki and took the left fork-

Tsuzuki: -rubs the bump on his head- I don't need to trick you to get the cookies. I know where you are going anyway. There's only one person living in that direction. Haha! I'll definitely get my cookies!!!

* * *

Tsuzuki suddenly reminds me of the Cookie Monster from Sesame Street... (Cookies!!! Cookies!!!) Ha ha! Wonder why Muraki and Hisoka can stay under one room without trying to kill each other... Wonder even more why Hisoka didn't seem to be assaulted in any way by Muraki even though they lived together. Wonder even, even more why Muraki's hunting a wolf.

Explodreamer: Cause he's a pervert. He supposed to be a pervert. And because of this he gets to choose when to be a pervert and when not to be one, that's why! (Sorry to Muraki fans) –senses a murderous aura from somewhere- Oops...


	2. Part 2

Oh my god... I've got a writer's block!!! Hope this is a good sequel :p And a review reminded me that Hisoka doesn't like sweet stuff. Here's the explanation: I wrote this fanfic when I'm starting to feel hungry. People eat ANYTHING when they're hungry. (Is this as good as Matsushita's excuses for her mistakes?) But no worries now, cause I'm full and energetic now!!! Oh, I do not own YnM at all (too bad...)

* * *

**YnM Little Red Riding Hood**

Muraki as Stepfather

Tsuzuki as the not-so-Big Bad Wolf

Hisoka as Little Red Riding Hood

Tatsumi as Woodcutter

Watari as Grandpa

* * *

Knock! Knock! Watari Grandpa slowly walked towards the door with his cute little owl, 003, following behind him. He was surprised when he felt something scratch his legs...

Watari: Oh my! What is this?

Meanwhile, Hisoka walked through the forest, heading towards his Grandpa's house. Hisoka felt very drained and tired. Maybe this was his damn stepfather's plot to make him suffer in the heat. He stopped for a moment to wipe his sweat off his forehead when he heard someone shout to him.

Tatsumi: Hey! Look out! You're stepping in my territory!

Hisoka: Oh, I'm sorry. Are you a woodcutter?

Tatsumi: Yeah, and you're standing in front of a tree that's going to fall soon. Hurry up and walk past it now!

Hisoka: -walks over quickly and continues the one-way journey-

Tatsumi: Are you going to that weird old man's (meaning Watari) house?

Hisoka: Yes and he's not a weird old man. Just an over obsessed scientist! He's my grandpa and I'm visiting him.

Tatsumi : -thinks 'Ha ha! A chance for another revenue!!!'- Well, you better be careful cause I just saw a little wolf run towards that direction. If you want, I can be your bodyguard. For a price, of course.

Hisoka: No thanks... –walks off immediately-

Tatsumi: I'll get my extra revenue! Definitely!!! Haha!!! There's only one old man, one little girl (guess he didn't realize that Hisoka's a guy) and one little harmless wolf!!! They'll beg for my help to get rid of the wolf!!! Haha!!!

With a bad feeling about what's going to happen later, Hisoka continues his journey to his Grandpa's house. Without him noticing, Tatsumi follows behind Hisoka, hiding behind shadows occasionally. In the next and last chapter would be the duel (?) between the not-so-big bad wolf and the rest of the characters!!!

* * *

Hope this is not too lame or anything... Actually, I don't really remember the details of the original fairytale. I only know the woodcutter's suppose to be a good guy, but hey, being greedy doesn't mean you're bad, right?

... ...Right?


	3. Happily ever after!

A/N: What is this? Three years? I can't believe it's three years. Very very sorry if anyone was actually waiting for this chapter. There's the writer's block, then some trauma I went through and now finally, I'm back to this fanfic. I had trouble remembering the anime itself, my brain keeps on erasing its existence. There was a little struggle for me because it is indeed years since I have written about these guys and I couldn't resist making Tsuzuki uber cute. Hope I didn't make them too OOC though.

Disclaimer: Wish I'd own YnM, but I don't. Anyone has any idea what happened to Matsushita sensei?

* * *

**YnM Litte Red Riding Hood**

Muraki as Stepfather

Tsuzuki as the not-so-Big Bad Wolf

Hisoka as Little Red Riding Hood

Tatsumi as Wood Cutter

Watari as Grandpa

* * *

Hisoka was asked by his father, Muraki to visit Watari, Hisoka's grandpa, living in the forest. Equipped with a basket of (poisoned) cookies and wearing a red riding hood, Hisoka finally reached his destination after encountering a hungry wolf (cute though, he had thought inwardly) and a weird woodcutter.

Pretending to be oblivious to the woodcutter, who decided to stalk him and the strong desire he could sense from inside the scientist's house, he knocked politely on the door.

Knock! Knock! The door opened wide almost instantly and somebody jumped onto Hisoka immediately.

Hisoka: Whoa! –staggers back slightly-

Tsuzuki: Cookies! Cookies! COOKIES!! –wagging his tail happily-

Hisoka stood still, unable to recover from the shock momentarily. Watari stood at the entrance and greeted happily.

Watari: Ah! Hisoka, you really did come! I didn't believe Tsuzuki at first when he said you were coming over. –gestures- Come on in!

Tsuzuki: I told you there were COOKIES! –jumps off Hisoka and dances into the house-

Hisoka sat down on a stool at the dinner table and looked around. Except the cheerful dancing wolf, the house looked as complicated as usual, full of flasks and solutions of various colors. 003 flew behind Tsuzuki as if it's doing the Cookie dance too.

Hisoka: -grabs Tsuzuki angrily- Stop moving around! You're making me dizzy!!

Tsuzuki: Oww! Sorry! –struggles away from Hisoka and hides next to Watari-

Watari: -ruffles Tsuzuki's hair absent-mindedly- What do we have here?

Hisoka: That bas… no, _Father_ (disgusted at the word) asked me to bring you some cookies that he baked. You shouldn't eat it though, knowing how he is…

Watari: -sighs heavily - I can list down what other ingredients he could add in. Aniline, Beryllium, Cyanide, Lead…

Hisoka: How about anesthetic?

Tsuzuki had already taken a bite of the cookies that Hisoka brought and was now sleeping soundly on the floor.

Tsuzuki: -drools- Cookies… Heaven…

Watari: -shakes his head- If Tsuzuki downed the whole basket in one go, he would have really gone to Heaven.

Hisoka: …. Glutton.

Knock! Knock! Knock! It was a series of urgent knocking, however, Watari took his time to carry Tsuzuki into the bed. Hisoka decided to answer the door simply because he couldn't stand the noise and the nervous sense he felt flowing through the door.

Hisoka: -opens the door warily- Who is it?

Tatsumi: Thank goodness you are alright! I thought the wolf had eaten both you and that weird old man.

Hisoka: -still holding onto the door, not allowing entrance for Tatsumi- We're fine, we have no job for you so go away.

Tatsumi: -gives his best commercial smile- Come, come! Look at me! I'm fit and strong. I can help you chase away the wolf. It'd be too much for a young girl and an elderly man.

Hisoka: -fiercely- I'm not a girl! And we're not intending to chase Tsuzuki away, so we have no need for you –makes to close the door-

Watari: -freaks- AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Hisoka immediately bolts to the bedroom, leaving the door open to Tatsumi who followed in quickly. Hisoka found Watari sitting on the floor with 003 flying around in panic.

Hisoka: What happened... –shocked- Muraki!! What… What are you doing here?

Muraki: -wraps his arms around the sleeping Tsuzuki and evil laughs- Well, I came here to collect the result of my plot. –moves closer to Tsuzuki, taking in a deep breath- This wolf… his hair smells so sweet and nice that it makes me go crazy…

Hisoka: GET YOUR HANDS OFF TSUZUKI!!

Muraki: You mean… -moves his hands slowly down from Tsuzuki's neck to his collarbone then to his chest- these hands?

Furious with Muraki's assault, Hisoka ran towards the bed in an attempt to pull the silver-haired away from Tsuzuki. Muraki pushed away Hisoka, the latter fell back almost crashing onto the floor, if not for Tatsumi who had grabbed him in time.

Tatsumi: -coldly- Mister, domestic violence is not good. –moves over and grabs Muraki's arm- So is sexual harassment.

Both men gave each other their evilest death glare that would have lasted for infinity if not for…

Tsuzuki: Mmmm… strawberry parfait… -snuggles deeper into Muraki's hug, his hair brushing against the man's neck-

Muraki froze at the sensation, surprised at the sudden contact. Tatsumi looked at the scene momentarily, unable to comprehend the burning he felt in his heart while Hisoka looked on the scene which he could only describe in one word.

Hisoka: Crime.

Watari: -exasperatedly - This idiot is the trigger for all sexual crime anyone could commit. _On him._

A split second later, Tatsumi held a tighter grasp on Muraki's arm and twisted it. The silver-haired was taken aback by the sudden attack, partly because he was still distracted by Tsuzuki's unintentional movement. Tatsumi pulled Muraki away from the bed with Tsuzuki falling hard onto the mattress and Muraki staggering out of the bed.

Tsuzuki: -wakes up abruptly- Huh? Huh? What… where…

Meanwhile, Muraki and Tatsumi started a battle of muscles where they both pushed each other in the opposite direction. Tatsumi sent a punch to Muraki's jaw. It seemed that the woodcutter had the advantage and was winning.

Hisoka: Tsuzuki! Are you feeling alright?

Tsuzuki: -dazed- … where? Where is my ultimate special apple pie?

Watari: What? Are you still dreaming? Muraki tried to…er… you know…

Tsuzuki: -trembles angrily- My… ultimate special apple pie… THEY RUINED MY SPECIAL APPLE PIE!! –pushes Watari away-

Watari: Wait! Wait… what are you doing, Tsuzuki?

Hisoka: -frantically- Wait! Tsuzuki! Stop, you idiot!!

Tsuzuki: COME OUT! SUZAKU!!

Watari: -pleads- Stop it! Tsuzuki! You're destroying my house!

* * *

Moonlight shone through the broken hole in the roof where the Shikigami had descended. It was lucky that he had added various elements when building this house, saving it from total destruction. The scientist looked up at the moon over his house and sighed in resignation. He could hear whimpering from outside his house.

Tsuzuki: Can… can I take a break? I'm hungry…

Tatsumi: No! You're not going anywhere before you replant all the tress that you have burnt down! –crazily angry- DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH ALL THESE TREES COULD HAVE HELPED ME EARN?

Tsuzuki: I'm sorry…

Tatsumi: -shrieks- SHUT UP, MONKEY!! DO YOU EVEN USE YOUR BRAIN? HOW COULD ANYONE BE AS RECKLESS AS YOU ARE? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH LOSS I HAVE SUFFERED? JUST REPLANTING TREES ISN'T GOING TO HELP! YOU ARE GOING TO………………………

Soon, Watari fell asleep amongst the angry woodcutter's rant. Meanwhile, Hisoka tossed and turned in his bed, disturbed by Muraki's evil thoughts that were almost filling up the whole house. In the kitchen, Muraki looked as his freshly baked cupcakes and smiled sadistically.

* * *

Thank you very much for reading this! I'm extremely grateful for the reviews too!  
Nirina Illusier, Alka Iris, GravityNeko, DarkSapphireDragon, Aerine Lillet (thanks for your constructive review!) and choconeko.  
Of course, I'd be happy if I could have reviews for this chapter too even if it is the end!  
Love you all, enjoy to the fullest at Fanfiction dot net!


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